Healing in Real Time: Abby and Stacy’s Journey with OneEighty

On a warm summer afternoon, two women—once strangers before their journey to sobriety—sit together on the porch of a OneEighty sober living home. As they share their life stories, they reflect on the paths that led them here and the profound impact that sober living has had on their lives.

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Abby

High at 13

Abby recalls her first experience with ‘weed’ (marijuana) at the ripe old age of 13.

“Having lost my mother at the age of 12, I was living with my sister,” Abby explained. “She ran a tight ship, and I felt she was very hard on me.” Seeking an escape from boredom and her sister’s rules, she got her first boyfriend and became friendly with a neighbor who introduced her to her first experience of smoking pot out of a pop can. On the weekends, she’d hang out with older siblings, and drinking and smoking pot was how they partied.

“The first time I smoked pot, it totally freaked me out,” Abby recalled. “For me, the experience was so intense; I suffered an anxiety like I had never felt before. But it didn’t stop me.”

While she was never one to buy pot, her friends made it readily available as she went through high school partying, drinking, and smoking dope. The day after she graduated high school, her sister threw her out of the house. After being forced to move into her own apartment, she found a way to maintain her drinking and smoking habits while juggling two jobs—one at a local bank and the other as a waitress.

“In spite of the anxiety I felt while smoking pot, I eventually found a way to find humor in my dumb behavior. After the high wore off, I remember thinking how funny it was that I recalled waiting at a stop sign for it to turn green or that I found myself going the wrong way on a one-way street,” she recalled.

Becoming Fearless

As with many substance users, Abby eventually sought a new high where anxiety didn’t happen and escape made her fearless.  Ecstasy and pain pills became her new drugs of choice, getting clean only when she found out she was expecting her first child. Her daughter was born first, soon followed by the arrival of her son. Although she managed to stay clean during each pregnancy, she struggled to maintain her sobriety afterward.

“Methamphetamine was my drug of choice,” Abby said. “I was in a bad relationship with a narcissistic man which ended in me physically attacking him. I moved into a domestic violence shelter where I got caught with meth. Instead of dealing with those possession charges, I asked my ex-boyfriend to take me to the home of my high school friend’s father who was known for taking people in and helping them. I wanted to get clean.”

Another Rabbit Hole

There was heavy drinking going on at the home where I was trying to recover.  One night as I joined them in drinking, I got drunk enough that I made a fire outside by myself and began ranting all the things I wanted to say to my ex that I couldn’t to his face at the top of my voice even though he wasn’t there. The neighbors called the police because they didn’t know what was going on, and when the authorities came to check on me, they uncovered the secret indictment that I had been given while living in Ashland.

“When the police came, they told me I wasn’t going home. They took me to Ashland, and when I got out on bond, I was forced to get a drug and alcohol assessment. I finally decided that I would choose the path I needed to follow with the help of OneEighty.” Abby met the criteria for a program known as Treatment in Lieu of Conviction, and she began her work at OneEighty.

Love My Reality

She began working with her counselor at OneEighty starting with the Intensive Outpatient Treatment program. Eventually Abby participated in treatment for post-traumatic stress syndrome, and then she voluntarily participated in OneEighty’s aftercare program for 8 weeks.

Sober since May 6, 2024, she smiles when discussing her two children who have turned out great. She’s as proud of their accomplishments as they are of hers.

“When I started smoking weed, I know I thought that it was helping me. I know now that everyone needs to deal with the issues they are trying to avoid. Today I realize that I love reality my just the way it is now,” she concludes. 

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Stacy

Differing Definitions of Abuse

The word abuse had a different meaning in Stacy’s young life. Raised by a single mom who was an alcoholic, Stacy was in and out of the foster care system during her youth. She says she didn’t have a lot of friends but instead hung out with her older cousins. To hang out with what she saw as the ‘cool’ kids,  Stacy began her journey into drug culture at the age of 10. It wasn’t unusual for her to both use and take weed into school. Then she dropped out of school and became a consistent runaway.

“I enjoyed feeling numb. Personally, I didn’t give a sh—. I didn’t get to meet my father until I was 14, and by the age of 15, I was raped,” she said. “I suffered from chronic PTSD. Suicide was always in my thoughts. Hell yes, I was always looking to escape my reality.”

At the age of 16, she found herself pregnant and decided to move to Texas where her father lived. After losing that baby, her drug abuse escalated.

Looking for Higher Highs

“I got tired of dealing with weed. It no longer made me high and just put me to sleep. I turned to acid, heroin, methamphetamine, and bath salts,” she said. “I didn’t know who I was most of the time.”

From 19-23 years of age, she married and had three daughters. Her husband was in and out of prison throughout their whole marriage. Unfortunately, her children were in and out of foster care and she continued to fight to keep their custody. At age 40, she was indicted for drug possession and paraphernalia. That’s when she opted into the Treatment in Lieu of Conviction Program and began her work with OneEighty.

Ultimate Incentives

Her children had witnessed her being high, but they still always had a deep family love for each other. Her daughter told her that her mom was the person she had always looked up to the most, but she could no longer enable her to continue down the destructive path she was on.

“My daughter said she didn’t hate me, but she was disappointed in me, and if I didn’t change my ways, I wouldn’t be allowed to see my grandson,” Stacy said. “That was the final push I needed for me to change my life.”

Determined to rebuild her family life and end her substance abuse, she moved into the Salvation Army and began working the programs at OneEighty.

“I was scared of the systems that I had been exposed to,” Stacy said. “But when I began working with the people at OneEighty, it was completely different. I became exposed to different types of therapy, each one giving me different tools to turn my life around. The Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EDMR) therapy helped me learn how to deal with the emotional pain I felt as a result of my traumatic childhood. I’ve learned how to move my mind into a safe place and to continue the work of building my new life, one which includes being a positive influence on all my children and grandchildren.”