Got Drunk, Fell Down, Got Arrested. Now Living a Life of Recovery.

“I got drunk. I fell down. I got arrested.”

That’s the short version Debra leads with when asked to share her story. Her humor and sarcasm are but one part of her real story, one which has made her path in recovery a positive tool that helps her identify with so many of the people whose lives she now touches as the Oasis Club Recovery Coach Coordinator at OneEighty.

“Often times, I lead with that line when I sit down with new patrons at Oasis Club, the club at OneEighty where we provide a safe and supportive environment for people in recovery,” Debra said. “In truth, my story began early in my teen years, where, as the youngest of three children, I lived the life of what my siblings call a spoiled brat.”

Party Animal

She enjoyed a good party on the weekends when she was in high school.

“No question about it. When I was in my teens, I drank to get drunk. I found myself pregnant at 17 in my junior year, and decided after 2 weeks of my senior year, that I didn’t need school,” Debra recalls.

This was the first of many decisions that she reflects on as part of her journey.

“I moved into my first apartment, got a job, put my daughter in day care, and still reserved my weekends to party. Even after my second daughter and my son were born, my path didn’t waver. I would make excuses to my children about why I had to go out on the weekends, not telling them I intended to go drinking. But they caught on. In my mind, I believed they didn’t see me drunk so they didn’t know. When I would give them my excuses, they finally looked at me and said, “Go ahead and go – you don’t want to be with us anyway,” she recalls tearfully.

First Wakeup Call

At 33, Debra was picked up for driving under the influence (DUI). Even though her oldest daughter turned 16 while her license was suspended, and someone else had to teach her to drive, her addiction continued. She completed the Alcohol Education Program (AEP) that used to be a 72-hour weekend, an on-site program that was then known as STEPS. But old habits didn’t change. Losing jobs, having terrible relationships, scrambling for rent, always in crisis, and still: she didn’t recognize herself as an alcoholic.

Seven years later, she received her second DUI. Now court ordered to get help through Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) meetings, the light bulb began to go on.

Learning to Foregive Myself

“I started going to the AA meetings and realizing that my life was a hot mess,” she says tearfully. “I literally cried every day for 90 days. I saw the damage I had done to my children. Because my drinking always began on Thursday, they were ‘sick’ and missed many school Fridays. But when I had to stand up and say ‘Hi, I’m Debra, and I’m an alcoholic,’ I began to forgive myself.”

It was during this time that she realized she wasn’t alone. As she tells it, she wasn’t the only ‘idiot’ and there were many people who had made mistakes in their lives.

Finding Her Oasis

It was during this time that she heard about OneEighty’s Oasis Recovery Club. Afraid to be at home by herself when her children were in school, the club became her daytime refuge. She began volunteering there, and the rest, as they say, is history.

“I loved volunteering at Oasis. I am grateful to OneEighty director Bobbi Douglas who saw something in me and offered me a job managing the club. Her influence on me continued as she encouraged me to take the next step and become certified as a Recovery Coach,” Debra reflects. “I took the next step but stayed true to the part of my work prior to being hired on as an employee. I had been creating and hosting Family Events at the club. People needed a way to involve their families in their recovery because families are their lifeline.”

You Don’t Live There Anymore

How does she engage with clients and community members who come there? While each person is different, she assures them that she is there to listen and support them. She sometimes shares her story and encourages them to sign up to volunteer with Oasis Club.

She reminds them that ‘they don’t live there anymore.’ By going through the process of becoming a volunteer, they take additional steps in building their new future. If they sign up to volunteer, they get the experience of completing an employment application and going through the interview process. Then their hours of volunteering offer them the opportunity to experience food prep, running a cash register, cleaning, and having responsibilities to complete tasks. 

Loving Yourself and Your Family

“When I talk with people here, I tell them I don’t know why relapse is not part of my story of recovery. The biggest part of it is the fact that I know I don’t want to lose the relationships I worked so hard to rebuild with my children,” she says.

Debra smiles lovingly when she tells you that her children say they are proud of her every day. She reports that when they see any of her old negative behaviors, they remind her that they are sure there is a meeting going on someplace she might need to attend. Soon to be a fourth-time grandmother, she says she thanks God that she considers herself to be one of the many employees at OneEighty who are able to just listen, not be judgmental, and walk alongside others in their journey.